A Page from her Diary (Part 4) ~ the end of an illusion

Dear Buddy,
He chose to be with her and ended those 10 years of our friendship. Am I angry with him? No, I’m not. Am I hurt? My answer still remains the same as the former one. If someone asked me these questions a few months back then I’d probably sound like a wounded soul to him or her. There’s teenage and then there’s a time when you meet maturity for real and realize how childlike some of the decisions you made at one point in time were.
You must be thinking if I am not affected by him anymore then why am I still writing stories about him? Well, that’s because he’s been a great muse for the writer in me. Oh yes, this “friendship v/s love” conflict is conceivably one of the most famous themes for crafting stories and poems. I too am indulged in writing about the same clash right now.
Believe me, crying yourself to sleep and then falling both mentally and physically ill is not a likeable state to be in. That pain you undergo when a hard hitting incident occurs in your life is ironically the worst ailment and the best medicine. It’s the lessons you learn from pain that helps you fight it harder when it pounces back on your life again.
The word “best” holds a lot of significance when it’s added to the word “friend”. “That’s my best friend!” This isn’t just any statement, when you give this right to somebody, it’s like you’re permitting him or her to play the parallel lead in a movie called “Life”. However, some characters fail to realize the depth of the role they’ve bagged and take everything for granted. You can’t stop your movie for one single character, can you? You are the main lead of the story and you’ll have to bring a twist in your entire story if and when it’s needed. Of course, initially you’ll miss the parallel lead on sets but then my friend the story must go on. I’d always entitled him as my “best friend”, didn’t I? But today, he’s just another character for me and yes I do owe it to him for agreeing to play such a huge role in my life once. He taught me how to think over my decision a million times before addressing someone as your “friend”, leave along attaching the word “best” to it.
He wanted me to write a novel on our friendship. I think his idea is perfect. He’s always genuinely cared for the writer in me and that’s why I always mention that he’s been a great muse! It’s 12a.m. now, and apart from it being his birthday it’s also a day which wiped away his presence in my life forever. I’ve understood that this story was never about “Friendship v/s Love”. Our friendship was just an illusion and hence there is no question of having a face-off with love which undoubtedly is “real”.
Wow, happy realization to me! My mother says, “A person’s best friend is he himself, for there are always hidden secrets in their story which only they know about.” I’d argue with her if reality check didn’t say “hello” to me last year on this same date. Having said all this, this is my story and you’re my diary, so from here on I set you free from the tales of that illusion I had.

©songbriti

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