A Page from her Diary (Part 2)~ reconstructing relations...

Dear Buddy,

After a tug of war between emotions, Concern was finally victorious. I decided to let go of my “ego” and call him! No, like I mentioned earlier I still do not love him. It is the memories that we created together which perhaps never allows me to obliterate him forever from my memory. I decided to call him. There was an impulse within me which compelled me to call him. “Hello”, a voice answered. I was listening to this voice after an extensive gap of four years…Unable to react, I hung up the call. There was a point in time when conversations between us were endless. The irony of time explained my hesitance and my lack of courage to talk to my Best Friend and ask him if he was fine.

I was in a state of dilemma when my phone rang. He called back. I rejected the call; my response was comparable to a reflex action to combat the dilemma. I asked a friend of mine for suggestions about handling my situation and she made me realize how necessary it was for me to confront the existing quandary of emotions within me. I gave a numb stare at his phone number for a while; I knew I would never call back if I gave it a second thought. I pressed the “call” icon on my phone. “Hi….Ayaan”, I said hesitantly and simultaneously introspected how time is the only constant change. I rarely addressed him with his full name…but now I did. After a formal “How are you?”, I assumed that he was fine. I could sense his maturity when he expressed how one misunderstanding had changed our relation forever. The way he spoke so calmly left me astonished. I wondered if he had begun meditating off late! It annoyed me when he enquired if we could be “Friends” again. I thought we were Best Friends!

“Promise me you won’t disappear again”, he said. I assured him there would be no “Good-byes” this time and even if I ever decided to leave I wouldn’t without his knowledge. My reason to walk away four years back was an unsolved puzzle for him. He solved it when I gave him a clue to it. “I was totally dependent on you during that phase (his break-up phase) and you left.”, he said in a tone which reflected his hidden grief. My mind immediately wanted to question him if he thought that I was immune to emotions. Oh, he is no more addicted to alcohol; he does it occasionally though, which means he has spared his liver to a certain extent now!

He read A Page from my Diary, and that was his clue to finding out why I had detached myself from him four years back. He apologized and understood my perception. I had no alternative but to forgive him! I rarely accept apologies but he was and still is an “exception” to my rule book. “Listen, I recharged my phone’s internet pack… Just to read your blog”, he said excitedly. Some things just do not change. We are not Best Friends anymore yet he wanted to share every minute detail with me. I learnt about his current girlfriend’s episodes and how she was the most amazing person he met till date. I was indeed happy in his happiness.

We began having late night phone conversations, on a daily basis again. Even before we became conscious of the fact we were turning Best Friends again. He kept emphasizing our bond was special and we both agreed that some relations don’t have any name. I knew the depth of my concern for him was always constant; the surface might have changed with time. I recognized we both are in Love…in love with our Friendship, in love with the Bond we share, in love with the fun-filled Memories we shared since boarding school. Okay buddy, you have a goodnight…catch you later…bye.

©songbriti